Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
