I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
