12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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