1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
