i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
