so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
