okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
