Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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