I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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