Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
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