If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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