Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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