I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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