i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He better not be in your backpack
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Randomize
