you win again, gameday.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
