i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
