i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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