I wanna passion pit in your ass
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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