I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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