They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
