i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
