Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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