ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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