Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
