Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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