I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
