highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
