i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
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