i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
