I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
