I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
