maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
