Your mouth is God's brothel.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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