are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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