Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
