I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
