Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
