So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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