So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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