so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
