If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
