hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
