I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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