I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
