To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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