My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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