Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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