I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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