You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
