i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
